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(no subject) [Jan. 5th, 2006|11:34 am]
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can that even be counted as a milestone? [Aug. 19th, 2005|02:48 am]
[: m o o d : |awakeawake]
[: n o i s e : |edwin mccain - i'll be]

it has been so long, i can hardly believe it. you cannot even begin to imagine the things that life has thrown me in that time span. things had finally started to settle down...my health was good, my move was completed and i am finally settled in the new place, etc...until today life threw me another curve ball. it looks like i have yet another battle with this cancer. let me tell you, this is one tough little bugger, it will just not accept the fact that i am going to keep kicking his ass until he's dead. (why is it so much easier to deal with cancer if i think of it in terms of a male, rather than just "it"? hehe, sorry...just a slight bit of male bashing!) oh well, no matter how many times i relapse, i will keep fighting!

but other than that development, life is good. i am so glad to be out of that awful town and living where i am. the new apartment is great...we painted accent walls in the kitchen and dining room the greatest color...it's called "firecracker". it's perfect. i love walking in the door and seeing it! now we just need to tackle the living room walls. my bedroom and bathroom are taking shape too. i picked up a set of decorative plates the other day to hang on the walls. they are adorable! the theme of the plates is "i swoon" and each plate has the words "i swoon over (....)" and a picture of that item. my favorite of the set is "i swoon over a very large diamond ring" with an adorable painting of a engagement ring in a purple and green box. ;) i wish! But they are still adorable, and my bathroom is going to look great when I hang them tomorrow. Hehe, I wonder what Chase will say when he sees that!

speaking of him, we are still doing great. i continue to be amazed that i found a man as wonderful as him, and that he loves me to boot! how did i pull that one off? :) he has been out of town for the last 2 weeks (i saw him briefly over the weekend) and though i have missed him, it has been a good thing. i told myself (before i moved down) that i wouldn't spend all my time with him (you can imagine how well that worked out!), so his absence has forced me to break that habit. now if i could only stick with it! he'll be home tomorrow, yay! (but, of course, he'll probably have to leave again sunday or monday) we have an engagement party, for his cousin and his finace, on saturday. (it's only "we" if i can get off work in time...cross your fingers!) it will be the first time we sign a card with both of our names...is it odd that i consider that some sort of a milestone? lol, i'm a dork!

well, i need to get some sleep. i have work in...wow! 2 hours! i'm in big trouble! (i'm going to be napping by the time chase gets back tomorrow..haha, great!) goodbye friends!
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empty bed [Dec. 17th, 2004|12:41 am]
[: m o o d : |lonelylonely]
[: n o i s e : |martina mcbride - wearing white]

i miss him. it will be at least a solid week before i get to see him again, which is fine, though not ideal. holidays are best enjoyed with the one you love. it's amazing how accustomed i got to sleeping next to him...my first night alone, i had such a hard time sleeping. i grew so used to having his warmth, and his affection, and even his breathing and snoring, that my bed seems empty without him. lol, i'm so sappy. i'm going to my (empty) bed. goodnight.
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these are the moments i know heaven must exist... [Dec. 7th, 2004|08:50 pm]
[: m o o d : |relaxedrelaxed]
[: n o i s e : |edwin mccain - i could not ask for more]

everybody has some regrets, or at least things they've done that they aren't really proud of, right? chase and i were talking last night and he said a few things that blew me away. we were talking about our pasts and how we hate that they exist and so forth...and he said very simply that the past belongs in the past and "i love you babe, that's all that matters". how great is that? i know so many girls that have problems because their boyfriends can't let the past go...always asking questions about it, and starting fights because of it. that is so silly...the past brought you to where you are today, and that is together, and that's all that should count. i'm not discounting the whole "how many partners?" "how long has it been?" "when was the first?" and all that conversation, but just put it behind you and don't think of it after the conversation is over!

but the one thing he said that really amazed me was this: "i think that we have both bestowed upon each other the blessing of sex the way it should be enjoyed." WoW! i didn't even know how to put that into words...the fact that for the first time (and no, i haven't been with very many people) this feels....right. i love him so much. every day i continue to be amazed by him, by how considerate, respectful, honest, and caring he is. he makes me a better person. he makes me life so much brighter. i cannot imagine anyone greater than him, and i have thought that from the day we became friends, now i just get to experience it all the more! :) i am the luckiest, and he is the best!
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and so it begins... [Dec. 6th, 2004|08:50 pm]
[: m o o d : |lovedloved]
[: n o i s e : |stone temple pilots - half the man i used to be]

i am in love. simple enough. and i want a place where i can talk about this love, and all it's ups and downs without driving my friends crazy or embarrassing myself. this saves me the trouble of both issues...i can say what i want, because i highly doubt any of my friends will be reading this. and i can say ANYTHING, because of previous statement...so if you don't want to hear the details of my personal life and my relationships, don't read this! allright...so the love story begins!
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